It had been such a quiet, sad afternoon.
Too much going on in the world that scared or depressed everyone. Too many moments where there's no control, no sense of accomplishment. No inspiration for tomorrow.
I try never to wallow in any negativity for longer than the power of 3 permits. Nor do I ever advocate mulling over the past, since while you're doing that, your present goes unnoticed & your future-unattended.
But that day, I was exhausted & overwhelmed. I simply didn't have my usual get up & go. I suddenly skidded to a halt & found myself incapable of breathing life into anything.
I can't remember the last time this happened to me, since I am ever-grateful for what I have. Generally confident in my accomplishments, & usually optimistic & enthusiastic about my future.
I was so depleted, I just couldn't muster my everyday up-to-snuff energy, mentally or physically. I guess the daily upheaval has worn us all down to the barest of survival responses.
So I gave in, looking for a bit of respite, & sat down with my photo album & a glass of wine. I started slowly turning the pages, & as I did, my spirits immediately began to lift. With each image came a funny memory, a confident triumph, a passionate love, or a creative accomplishment. Even the sad memories of difficulties & losses left gifts by the door in my memories.
I felt as if I was actually breathing more deeply & feeling better than I had for awhile. The simple act of remembering gave me the same feeling of exhilaration you get after a great vacation. I guess these weird times call for looking back on everything that was, to know that nothing stays the same forever, & the future is as full as promise as it's ever been.
By the time I had completed the entire collage of photos of my life to date, I was feeling energized, happy & hopeful about what I could do with today & tomorrow. No longer weighted down by the miasma of the times.
But it took a trip to the past to make me realize what an engaged & interesting life I had forged. The accomplishments, the losses, the fabulous places I had lived, loved & visited, the people I had been blessed to encounter. All of it simply renewed my belief that the future would be no less exciting & amazing.
In these chaotic times, spending the afternoon leafing through the collection of photos of my life was the best gift I could have given myself. It has rejuvenated my spirit, & reset my optimism.
Just the ticket for travelling on.